Kayla, 19, asks: I have been casually seeing this guy for about 2-3 months. I have a lot of fun with him, am incredibly attracted to him, and the feeling is mutual. Lately, I've been having some conflicting issues...See, ever since sex has been introduced into the "relationship" or whatever we may have I have been kind of confused as to what I should do. He was straight forward with me by saying he isn't looking for a serious girlfriend because of about 245 different reasons, ranging from getting out of a 3-year relationship before going to college, and school/his job etc. and not being able to devote enough time. However, he also told me that I really make him reconsider and that I was different from any other girls on campus so its really hard...That I scare him because I have so much control and he's not used to that. He said that he wants to take some time to get closer to me and continue hanging out and whatnot...Now, I've always had the philosophy that if I'm in a sexual relationship, I want all or nothing..As in, committed relationship or no sex. However, I'm really conflicted because he is a genuine guy that I love hanging out with...the attraction is physical and mental which is somewhat different for me. The question weighing on my mind is...Am I ruining anything we may have in the future by sleeping with him? Am I an idiot for believing that some day he may actually want a relationship? I don't want him to think he can get with me for free and then hook up with other girls (even though I know he wouldn't have sex with them but still.) My options as I see it are a.) continue to remain close to him as we are in the present, or b.) just cut off all ties. I say that because I know that it would be almost impossible for us to remain strictly platonic (Ie: no sex/anything physical) so that would be my only way of getting over it. I told myself I wouldn't get attatched, but I still get those pangs of jealously when I see him flirting with other girls...He says I'm the one with all the control, but really now am I?

VictorM's advice: You're a bit naive to think he wouldn't have sex with other girls, but other than that, your rationale sounds solid. Given your two options (I think they make sense and I'm glad you're smart enough to realize that) then I think option A makes all the sense in the world.

Sure, things may not work out in the long run, but nothing in life is guaranteed. He's been honest with you, you enjoy his company, guys will say the "no relationship" crap but they can be swayed very easily, and by continuing what you have you can more easily lead it into a willling relationship, not one started with an ultimatum. There will come a time when you have to judge how serious he is, but for now enjoy his company and relax about the relationship thing. Enjoy being 19 -- stop worrying so much about the future.

And let's face it, even if things don't work out, having sex with him is not like having root-canal. Right? Right.