Joke submitted by grossguy, from nj:

Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent passing of her husband Earl. She decided that she would end it all and join him in heaven. Thinking that it would be best to get it over quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the firstplace. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden on someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast".

Next day Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.