Kayla, 18, from New York, asks: There is this guy that I go to school with, and I guess you could say we've had a thing for each other for the past month or two. Just last week, right before we went on break from college for a month, we had sex. We never really talked about it or planned it, it was something that just kind of happened. I'm not the type of girl who is into "friends with benefits" types of relationships at all. In fact the only other guy I've had sex with was in a long term relationship, and I always told myself I wouldn't have sex if I wasn't involved with the person. But it happened, and I don't regret it but I would like MORE to come out of this (a relationship) eventually. Problem is, I don't know if I have ruined my chances by having sex with him already while we aren't in a relationship. I know some guys have that mentality of "oh she already had sex with me, I don't need anything more now." Although I don't think he is this type of guy, because he was quite concerned if I really wanted to have sex with him, and that he didn't want me to regret anything and whatnot. Now, I don't know how to bring it up, or if I should even bring up the fact that I would like what we have to progress into a relationship. I won't be seeing him for the next month because we live hours apart, and I really would prefer talking about this in person but I'll do otherwise if necessary. He really hasn't given me any signs that he WOULDN'T want a relationship, except for the fact that since we've been home we haven't really been talking all that much. I just contribute this to the fact that we are now far away and whatnot...I would just prefer some insight on what a real guy would be thinking in this situation, and what I should do... THANK YOU ARG!-longtime fan all the way back from PJ's

VictorM's advice: Hey, no one has called me ARG since... um... yesterday.

Wow, are you making something out of nothing. Sounds to me like you have the makings of a good thing. In typical guy-girl difference, he's not rushing to a relationship; you are. But you both are sending the same message -- affection for each other. So, relax, take a deep breath, enjoy your holidays, and be ready to let this "thing" flow into place.

This is not the 19th century. Having sex after a month or two is hardly the thing that most guys today would consider a red flag. But, given your preference for sex in a committed relationship, I'd make my stand next time sex seems eminent -- and it will. Just say you need to slow things down because you're not into casual sex. At that point he'll either back away (meaning he's not ready to commit), or he'll say this is not casual (meaning he's ready for a relationship).

I have a feeling this is all gonna work out for you. Name a kid after me (just pick which name wisely).