Saturday, December 17, 2005
More than friends?
Brian, 18 from Nebraska asks:
I'm a freshman in college and I really like this friend of mine who is a sophomore. I want to ask her out but there's that whole younger guy stigma and I'm not sure what she'll think. For a while I thought she was into me, but now I'm getting mixed vibes. I really don't know what to do. Why do girls send so many mixed signals and how can I know how she really feels?
Emilie’s Advice:
Luckily Brian, this is an easy fix! Just ask her out. If she says no, then you’ll know she’s not interested. It seems like girls send so many mixed signals because guys speak a “different language”. What may seem like flirting to a man might just be a woman trying to be friendly. If she says no, the mixed signals will probably end because she’ll be more conscious of how she acts towards you. If you keep getting mixed messages, she may be toying with you because she knows you like her. If that’s the case, you wouldn’t want to go out with a girl like that anyway.
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I agree with the advice to ask her out - you can't know the answer to a question if you don't ask it. But as to the mixed signals, well... a smart friend of mine once said "If someone gives you mixed messages it is probably because they have mixed feelings." She could very well find you attractive but have reservations. It is possible one of those reservations is your age but it could be something else entirely. It could also be that SHE'S not sure if YOU'RE interested and doesn't want to come across as too eager only to get shot down. The best way to clear it all up is definitely to ask. And if you still get an uncertain answer, keep hanging out with her and try it help her make up her mind by showing her what a great friend you can be.
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