Siul, 38 from New Jersey asks:

I am a 38 year old homosexual. I have been dating a 39 year old male for a little over a year now. Currently, his 70 year old mom lives with him, who I've known for the length of our relationship. His mom does not accept the fact that her son is a homosexual. Although I've never discussed our relationship with her, she knows because everyone else has been commenting to her. It makes her feel bad, to the point that she cries. Her son now wants to limit our time together, so that he doesn't have to see her suffer. For example, I see him when she goes to sleep. I feel as though, she is manipulating her son's lifeand controlling my happiness. I give her a ride to school twice a week, and she treats me fine, so I find it hard to believe that she is manipulating like that. What should I do? I love her son like no other, but I don't want her to control my happiness. She should let her son live his life happily, for she has lived hers....

Emilie’s Advice:

You are an adult and deserve to have an adult relationship. While his mom may not be comfortable with the fact that her son is gay, he IS gay and therefore will inevitably have relationships with men. It’s unfortunate that his mom cannot accept him for who he is, but that is HER problem. If your partner is not comfortable enough to live the life he truly wants, then you will always be playing second fiddle to his mom. It’s very nice of him to take his mom’s feeling into account, but it sounds as though this is at the expense of your relationship. Let him know that you value your time with him but that you need more from him than a forbidden high school romance. You may want to also consider that he is using his mom as a scapegoat for ending it. Or maybe he's just not interested in a relationship. I don't want to say "booty call" but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck..... Either way, let him know how you feel and go from there.