leann, 18, from california, asks: Okay, this is a good question to ask you, considering that you are a guy and everything. I have been in a very serious relationship with whom very may be *the love of my life* for about a year; however, there are some things i can't seem to figure out. First off, he has cheated on me, but nothing more than kiss, with a girl he swore to me was just a friend. He gets mad because I won't let him have "girl" friends yet every time I do let him, it always seems as if the girls who he is saying are "just friends" want more out of him. So now, I'm extremely overprotective of him, and can't stand it when he isn't with me. He DID tell me when he cheated on me and all and says that it just proved to him how much he really did love me, but the thing is, I see the girl he cheated with all the time, and every time I see her, it reminds me of it, and it reminds me of the fact that HE WOULD CHEAT .. I get so jealous, because I don't like the fact of thinking that * I * am not his everything, and that he could even begin to consider cheating on me. However, this happened about 6 months ago, we're still together.. but I just can't seem to get it out of my head. He also talks about & looks at other girls ALL the time. It hurts my feelings because it makes me feel as if he is just simply waiting for something better to come along. Although he has told me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and everything, and he's with me EVERYDAY, but guys are guys, they will say anything to get what they want, Right?? So basically, my question to you is, do you think I'm too jealous? Do you think it is possible to cheat, but yet have NO feelings toward the one the cheated with and be completely in love with the one you cheated on?? Can guys be completely happy & content with who they are with, but yet still be compelled too look whenever they see someone *hotter*??

VictorM's advice: Yes, you are too jealous, and your jealousy will only make things worse. But, you have good reason to feel this way. Basically, this whole thing sucks for you.

Yes, a guy could have the most beautiful girl in the world and he'll still look at other girls, but they don't even have to be hotter. Looking doesn't mean he's looking for anyone better. Guys just always look. But doing it in a way that disrespects you and hurts your feelings make him a jerk.

Yes, it's possible for guys to cheat, have no feelings for that girl, and believe they are in love with one girl. But those are the guys you want to stay away from, not run to. It says something about the guy -- that he's a jerk.

Yes, he'll hurt you time and time again. His confession doesn't absolve him. Actually, I think it's a dirty rotten thing to do because look at what it did to you. He confessed purely for selfish reasons, not with your best interest in mind. And that makes him a jerk.

Face it: you're in love with a jerk and nothing you do or say is going to change that.