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Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I ran into an old boyfriend
SASHA, 30, from Virginia, asks: I ran into an old boyfriend that I still have tremendous feelings for. I've been married for 8 years w/ 2 kids and I am absolutely happy in my marriage. However, since I saw my old flame , I cannot get him off of my mind. He shows up in my dreams, day or night, and I am starting to get worried about it. It's been 7 months since I saw him. Should I talk to my husband about these feelings I'm having?
VictorM's advice: No! No! No! In case I didn't make myself clear let me say it again:
NO!
It would do you no good to tell your husband. There's nothing he can do about it anyway and it's quite an unfair burden you'd place on him. Chances are he won't understand and you'll just be creating problems. Even if he understands, chances are that at some point this will work against you. Guys don't generally accept the idea that some other guy is on your mind.
The old flame brought back good memories and they are a source of escapism from the daily routine of raising two kids. Sorta like the person who buys a one dollar ticket and until drawing day daydreams about what they will do with $20 million. But hey, they only lost a dollar. Don't you go losing a lot more over a lot less. Keep it to yourself.
VictorM's advice: No! No! No! In case I didn't make myself clear let me say it again:
NO!
It would do you no good to tell your husband. There's nothing he can do about it anyway and it's quite an unfair burden you'd place on him. Chances are he won't understand and you'll just be creating problems. Even if he understands, chances are that at some point this will work against you. Guys don't generally accept the idea that some other guy is on your mind.
The old flame brought back good memories and they are a source of escapism from the daily routine of raising two kids. Sorta like the person who buys a one dollar ticket and until drawing day daydreams about what they will do with $20 million. But hey, they only lost a dollar. Don't you go losing a lot more over a lot less. Keep it to yourself.
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No, what he doesn't know wont hurt him. If you're happy, it'd be stupid to ever leave your husband for him, so I'm assuming you wouldn't. Just because you have dreams about him doesn't mean shit. If you really knew what dreams meant, you'd know the real meaning behind them. Don't be stupid.
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