Helen, 37 from Boston asks:

I started dating a co-worker who is younger than me (he's 28) in February this year. He is physically beautiful and at first the relationship started out well. He was gallant, sweet, caring, the perfect gentleman. We could talk about any and everything and I really thought I had found the one. In July, all of that started to change. He began to look at other women and flirt with them in my presence. I also found out he lived with a woman and had a child with her. His attitude and behavior towards me also changed and the more inaccessible he became, the more I wanted him. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him. If he needed a ride, or lunch, I would be there. My question is...how do I break this obsession with him and find me again? He claims he's working hard trying to make some money and he can't spend any time with me. I feel so rejected, hurt and lost, like someone ripped out a part of my soul. Help me please.

Emilie’s Advice:

First of all, cut off all contact immediately. He made you feel wanted. But then he made you feel used, worthless and cheated. You are still craving the good feelings and will do anything to feel that way again. Unfortunately, you won’t get what you want or need from him. He sounds like the the ultimate "user". You dated him for five months before you even knew his living arrangements. He has a child with the woman he lives with. To anyone besides you it would appear that he was already in a long term relationship and was cheating on his girlfriend. Red flags and buzzers should be making your head spin. Repeat after me: “I am worth more than this.” The good news is that you CAN and WILL feel good again! But you need to do it without depending on someone else. I realize that you want what you can't have, but why do you want him in the first place? What did he ever do for you? I doubt it was anything you couldn't get by yourself with a bottle of wine and something that requires batteries. Keep yourself busy. Start volunteering at a local women’s shelter or a hospital. When you help other people, you start to feel good about yourself. It’s not until you like and respect yourself that you will attract the kind of person who will treat you right. Until then, remind yourself of how lucky you are to be rid of this guy.