Whoa whoa whoa gold-digger. If you love him, you'd marry him NO MATTER WHAT. Money really does buy this girl's love!
 

No, not a goldigger. If a guy is financially irresponeible...there is reason to worry because he could get the whole family in a ditch at some point. He should have a plan to get out and you should see the actions matching his words.
 

Good lord. I so feel for you. I was divorced last year from a man I truly, deeply loved. He was previously divorced and had two kids, who I also loved very much. My parents were so leery because he didn't have any money and had a TON of debt, but I had a good job and loved him loved him loved him, so I went for it. All along I went off about how you should get married for love, and money's not important (I was just like Baby, the previous commenter). Well guess what? Money's a hell of a lot more important than I realized. Our marriage was a disaster. He ruined me financially (I'm preparing to file for bankruptcy) and I ended up resenting him so much that our love couldn't overcome it. Granted, I allowed him to spend my money on his kids and his bills, something I will NEVER do again. But I thought that's what you did when you're in love, when you're married. It's just not.

I'm not saying don't go for it, not one bit. But heed VictorM's words: WHY is he broke? (And REALLY find out why before you get married; I thought my ex was a bad luck story when it turns out he just had no drive, no resources, no money management skills; a complete inability to deal with his money problems.)

The two things that most commonly break up a marriage are money and sex. I cannot stress to you how true this was in my situation (and the sex was good!). Give it some time. And if you do get together, KEEP EVERYTHING SEPARATE!!!! I will be paying off my ex's debts that are in my name for the next three years, a constant reminder of how important money can be in a realtionship.

Good luck!
 

Hi Amy,
I'm sure you have a brain to make money also. Why not spend your time making a lot of money also? Love is supposed to be greater than money you know.

Cheers,

Napoleon Will's blog
Feel free to email with questions or comments
 

im not gay but wonder what it would fee like to have a dick in my ass
 

Dear girls (and guys),
I survived a nightmare marriage this is what I learned.Hope this helps and keeps you from my mistakes:
1. Don't support his kids from another relationship. Remember your time is valuable too. Let the parents do it. You are only required to treat the kids well.
2. Do not open joint accounts with your signifigant other
3.Don't get a credtit card in both names or add your partner to yours.(this is a big one)
4. Even if your partner has a good job- they may be living above their means. This could crumble and take you down too.
5.I will talk money specifics before marriage and yes my lawyer will be involved.Anyone who won't go along with this is out of the game. It protects both of us.
6. I am financially responsible- my partner must either let me be so-or they do not have my best interests at heart.
7. I have done with out a lot of things up to this point in life to get where I am. Any leeches can do the same. (ie partner,relatives,and yes, children from another marriage. Providing and spoiling are two differant things.
8. I own my house and I will not let someone else put me out on the street again. Yes the wealthy ex did that- I let him.
9. Know that being a stay at home mom can be a very vulnerable position. Ok, you can stash grocery money and hope you get a good lawyer. Ok you can have kids for insurance that you get a check-Single parenting is more difficult than it looks. And kids suffer terribly during a split- just like you do even if it was a joint agreement.
10. I am 40 something. It would not take much for a bad relationship to blow my retirement.
11. I work hard. I don't deserve someone stealing my money.
12. I support lengthly engagements. If he can't save for/ buy me a ring-probably not the man for me.
13. Lucky 13!Time will tell- Time is our friend.. watch how he/she handles hisher money- and what he/she says about money.
14 Don't fall for "you are a gold digger" if you ask questions.You need to discuss money in any partnership. Some people say this to look like they are better off than they truly are.
 

Baby`s comment is very `knee jerk` and judgmental!
Iam not nor ever will be a golddigger!
I was married to a financially irresponsible man and it was a NIGHTMARE! It is like taking care of a naughty child! I have a friend just now, who has recently become engaged to a man who appears to be the same! She was living on her own in her own home with her 2 kids from a previous marriage and doing just fine! She wasn`t `flush` with money but managing a descent standard of living. Against all our (close group og girlfriends) advice she has let this man move into her home. He moved in 2 or 3 months ago, and already she is missing mortgage payments and other bills! Her engagement ring was put in a pawn shop before she even got it on her finger to pay his debts! We can only advise her, but she is an adult and has to make her own mistakes! Unbelievably, she has just announced she is pregnant to this nan! Her life is about to go down the toilet!! She, i have no doubt, will end up in financial ruin, sadly!
If you even have to write into a website like this to ask `should i marry my fiance with a major debt` I think you probably already know the answer!....Please listen to you`re gut instinct on this. I`m not suggesting you entirley break up with you`re boyfriend, just postpone things for a while and keep you`re eyes and ears peeled for other signs of financial irresp[onsibility. Otherwise you may find yourself a mother whose children don`t have an optimum lifestyle cause there`s no cash and mum has to work herself into a frenzy to provide and make ends meet, and subsequentley not able to spend as much time with the kids as they would like!Hope this helps