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Thursday, December 15, 2005
Girl who has a ton of male friends
Diana, 19, from: Illinois asks: I'm one of those girls who has a ton of male friends, and no boyfriend. I get along great with men. I can make them laugh. I'm a huge video game fan. I don't obsess over clothes or celebrities (something I can quote my guy friends as saying they hate). My male friends say they can talk to me about everything. They ask for and take my advice when it comes to their girlfriends. We talk about sex, school, politics, you name it. So *why* is it that no one seems interested in dating me?
VictorM's advice: Cause guys want to date a girl, not a buddy or a pal. Regardless of what guys say, their innate instinct is to be attracted to someone who acts like a girl, talks like a girl, dresses like a girl, and behaves like a girl. No real guy wants to date his buddy, even if she has boobs.
Want guys to see you as date material? Stop being their pal!
VictorM's advice: Cause guys want to date a girl, not a buddy or a pal. Regardless of what guys say, their innate instinct is to be attracted to someone who acts like a girl, talks like a girl, dresses like a girl, and behaves like a girl. No real guy wants to date his buddy, even if she has boobs.
Want guys to see you as date material? Stop being their pal!
Comments:
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Victor has this shit all wrong. Yes, they look at you as "one of the guys" but someday... like when they grow the fuck up and want a family, they'll realize that you're a rare form of female. And on top of that, you're their DREAM girl. Not all men want a beauty who likes to cook and clean. The number one thing for a relationship is friendship. Be yourself. I promise that someone will love you for who you are. Look at me, I'm far from a girly girl, I have guy pals just like you do... and I get bombed with guys. Infact, would you like some of my leftovers? They're seriously annoying the shit out of me right now.
I think Victor is mostly right about this. I think friendship and "being a pal" is the basis of any good relationship, but you have to have a little mystery--something they couldn't have unless you were "with them." I don't mean be a tease, but hold back a little and I think you'll be happier. Intrigue usually equals interest to men (and you may catch another man's eyes while going after the "friend".)
I agree with Baby: many men find those characteristics very attractive.
But one has to show interest for a man to be interested: men will often interpret signs of interest as attractiveness, and signs of lack of interest as unattractiveness. If one acts exactly like people's friend, and don't flirt at all, then that might explain why one is treated as such.
But one has to show interest for a man to be interested: men will often interpret signs of interest as attractiveness, and signs of lack of interest as unattractiveness. If one acts exactly like people's friend, and don't flirt at all, then that might explain why one is treated as such.
Don't change your ways at all. If guys don't like you for who you are then their not worth it. I'm just like you. My closest buddies are guys. Most of the girls I know think I'm weird and will never have a boyfriend. But, they were wrong. I am still buddies with the guys and believe it or not..I found out the girls don't like me because lots of guys like me as more than a friend. So, just be yourself. It's the best thing you can do.
Hi Diana,
You are friends with all of these guys and that's better than anything. Beyond all the girls these guys date and dump, you will still be there by their side. Why would you want to ruin something so good? You seem to know a lot about guys and your guy friends are willing to give you advice on how to pick up other guys. Go out there and pick yourself up a guy who is not your friends. Hitting on your existing friends can be awkward and it could possibly ruin your friendship.
Cheers,
Napoleon Will's blog
Feel free to email with questions or comments
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You are friends with all of these guys and that's better than anything. Beyond all the girls these guys date and dump, you will still be there by their side. Why would you want to ruin something so good? You seem to know a lot about guys and your guy friends are willing to give you advice on how to pick up other guys. Go out there and pick yourself up a guy who is not your friends. Hitting on your existing friends can be awkward and it could possibly ruin your friendship.
Cheers,
Napoleon Will's blog
Feel free to email with questions or comments
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Click here to return to Ask A Real Guy's home page where you can submit your own question or read the most recent Questions+Answers.
