ARGville

Claire, 31, in New York: Hey, I have a question about a guy that I went out on a date with in November. He didn’t ever get back to me, but I know there was a spark when he kissed me goodnight. He traveled 3 and a half hours to see me and I cut the date off after dinner ’cause that’s what I thought I should do. I emailed him a over a week ago, he replied and we decided on being friends. I responded, and now he’s vanished again. What do you think? Is he playing games?

VictorM: He’s … Continue Reading

Lizabeth, 33, in United States: I started talking to a guy a couple of months ago, and at the time we were both in long term relationships, with other people. Since, our other relationships have changed. Mine is done, and his “girlfriend” moved out with their children. Throughout the last several weeks we have spent a lot of time together, on the phone, and at each others homes. He has been having a hard time with his ex moving out, and taking the kids, and not speaking to him. We have had at least 3 conversations, which he initiated, about … Continue Reading

Ragu, in NJ: Hey Victor long time no talk!
Wow do I have stuff to tell you. I feel almost desperate but hey you have helped so much;) Ok so first let me start by saying I am not single!!

Habenero and I are going out. I am so happy but yet there us always a but. I hate them. Lol See i really like Habenero and we text everynight but yet we dont talk in school. He sits in front of me in math so he could then. Maybe not haha becuase our teacher eyes on both of us in her … Continue Reading

jen, 16, in scotland: Ok i’m new to the dating world. I have never been out with anyone. The only guy I ever really liked was in the 1st to forth grade. Then we moved — I was heartbroken. Now I’m older and for the first time in ages I like this guy. Only problem is we are so different; he is sporty, “popular”, likes to party… he’s sweet too. I’m arty and a book type but I think he likes me to. The only way I know him is we sit next to each other in English and we’re … Continue Reading

jordyn, 13, in mathews nc: guys always say we’ll never break up we’ll be dating forever… ok its not true because were only in middle school but every time i get my hopes up that it will last long…and then right as it’s getting good… they break up with me. i always realize my mistakes afterward… right now i’m in a great relationship… what should i do to try and keep it?

VictorM: Don’t try so hard to keep it. That desire to keep it often puts too much pressure on both of you.

As you said so well, around your age, … Continue Reading

Stella, 33, in Sweden: I hope my question is still qualified as a relationship question.

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We work in the same company. He proposed last summer. We bought a fresh nice flat then. We are planing to getting married in Hawaii this summer.

However, today our company announced lay offs. My job is safe.  Unfortunately, my boyfriend is the only one who has to leave in his department.

Honestly, it is a big shock for both me and him, because I do not think he has the worst performance in his department. We were … Continue Reading

CD, 23, in Boston: At 3 am ( after picking me up on the airport) on Sunday morning, my boyfriend of one year told me that we needed to break up. He said he needed space and was not feeling like he used to about me. He told me that he would always love me, that I was his best friend, that he would always be there for me and did not want me out of his life. We are both young, I am 23 and he is 21 and I was his first serious relationship. He also told me … Continue Reading

Ellie, truly, you need to seek professional help. You’re out of my league.

BL, 26, in Australia: Hi,

Well briefly, I did a silly mistake by declaring that I liked this guy (thinking he had mutual affection towards me). Big Mistake!!!!!

Well now, he is ( and I still think he is) with a new girlfriend. But he keeps initiating chats and at times flirts with me ( thru chat). I do no longer see him personally though we live under the same roof (Uni Dorm). I have been avoiding him as I personally feel silly after my confession. But lately I feel that he chats with me a lot. One of my friend feels … Continue Reading

misty, 38, in texas: I just ran across your site here on my nieces computer. Your advice seems very practical.
Even though I am old I don’t have a lot of dating knowledge. I was married for 18 years and dated a little after my divorce. Then I met “Brad”. I was dating “Brad ” for two years when we broke up . We ended it because of his drinking . He has since start going to AA and is seeing a counselor . He was a verbally mean drunk . After a 6 months apart we decided to try … Continue Reading

Dani, 26, in South Africa: Very new to this, but am so confused i don’t know what else to do.  Have been seeing this guy for 2 months, he has made it clear that he wants no pressure, he always used to come around and visit he went on holiday for 2 weeks, he came back 3 days ago and although we have chatted everyday since he got back, I still haven’t seen him.  He is very busy and extremely stressed at the moment, but my 6th sense keeps saying something is up, he doesn’t want to see me and … Continue Reading

Natasha, 20, in Ny: Hi Victor. Your site looks fantastic! ^^ I have a question..and I hope you may be familiar with “jewish ways” of dating so here goes. I met this guy at a holiday party and he seemed very nice, proper, smart etc. He asked for my number to get together sometime this week if I didn’t happen to bump into him again later during the party. I not only gave him my number but since the party ended early (midnight) we bumped into each other at the end and went to a pub to chill, talk, and … Continue Reading

The “Ask New Question” form is now open again.

I’m done with the site changes but for personal reasons I’m closing the “Ask New Question” page until March 16, which is when I’ll be back to answering your questions. When that page opens up again, you’ll see a new tab up on top, next to the “About” tab, that will say “Ask New Question.”

yibben, 23, in sg: Hello Victor! Great new look of the ARGville!! Here is my question. There is this guy who has asked me out for 4 times (movies, drinks, walk, etc.) and I never go out with him. Yesterday someone gave me two tickets to a ball game and I thought perhaps I’d ask him, thinking that it’s always better to go to a game with a guy than a girl. He said yes immediately but this morning he told me that another girl in his office also wanted to go watch the game, so perhaps … Continue Reading

Wendy, 25, in New York: Hi! So, I have seen you say a lot on here that guys like girls who make them feel good about themselves. So my question is, how do we females know when a guy is inquiring about us (striking up a convo) and hanging around us because we make him feel good about himself and he is interested in us as opposed to when a guy is inquiring about us (striking up a convo) and hanging around us because we make him feel good about himself but merely to serve as his ego boost?

Some guys … Continue Reading

I had to convert this blog from Blogger to WordPress, and in the process, decided it was time for a new look. That effort, plus converting over 4,200 questions and answers, is just about done. The old converted questions look a little sloppy in the new homepage, but when you click “Continue Reading,” the page looks just like it did before. We’re going to have to live with it.

For a little while today I opened the “Ask New Question” page to try it out. This is where you’ll go to submit new questions. I received a couple of questions while … Continue Reading

Yes, a new blog look. It will take a few days to finalize it but this is more or less the new look.

I’m giving up talking about politics on the home page. ARGville is going to be mostly about advice from now on. I’ll just be maintaining this advice blog (which is now the site’s home page — update your favorites) and the discussion forum.

I will be up and running and answering your questions again by the 16th of March.

I’ve answered all the questions I had on file and closed the submit form for new questions because I’ll need to take time to change the software that runs this site.

I don’t know when I’ll be back on, but between changing the software and taking some personal time off, I don’t seeing being back until the middle of the month.

When I do return, the site should have a different look.

Age: 21Question: This is probably a very vague question but I’m curious after reading a lot of your thoughts on guys and girls being friends. How much trouble will a guy go through to stay friends with a girl? Because you always say that guys are friends with girls because it is a situation that has no obligations for them (which is a point of view that I’m curious about because in my opinion even friends have obligations to each other). And I’ve been friends with a guy for about 2 years and I noticed … Continue Reading